I’m intrigued by a short question Peter asked Jesus towards the end of John’s gospel. We all know the story. It was just after the resurrection and the disciples had been out fishing. They’d seen Jesus on the shore who advised them to put their net on the right hand side of the boat where they caught a large quantity of fish. After eating some of the catch, Jesus asked Peter three times, ‘Do you love me?’, to which Peter replied, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you’. Jesus responded, ‘Take care of my sheep’ (John 21:16). As they were walking along the beach, Peter turned around; seeing the disciple whom Jesus loved, Peter asked, ‘Lord, what about him?’ (John 21:21)
Lord, what have you called them to do? Lord, why can’t I be called to that? Lord, I haven’t got a clue what to do next – I haven’t got the skills required to do what my boss has asked me to do but they have. Why do I have to do it and not them?
Comparison. We know we shouldn’t do it; and yet we do it all the time. I don’t know what was going through Peter’s mind, but I know what goes through my mind when I compare myself to others. I’ve got three brothers, two of whom have gone to Oxford, one who went to Cambridge. I ‘only’ went to Nottingham Trent University and compare myself against them all the time – even though I’m currently doing my second Masters, having successfully completed a MA in Youth and Community Work and Applied Theology a few years back.
Comparison; it holds you back. It stops you from taking risks – because if it fails, you feel like you’ll look stupid, even though deep down you know that you need to take some risks and fail in order to succeed.
It’s important, therefore, that we identify the unique gifts and talents that each of our young people have
I think we live in a culture where young people are comparing themselves against others more than ever. The stress of the constant pressure of exams and of keeping up with the Jones’ next door and looking a certain way in order to fit in. Young people are comparing themselves to those around them, both in the flesh and what they see on TV, the internet, social media and in magazines.
For me, it’s really liberating knowing that God used Peter to build his Church using Peter’s God-given gifts and talents. God didn’t miraculously give Peter Paul’s boldness, John’s good looks or Matthew’s mathematical ability (useful in his days as a tax collector). Rather, God knew what gifts and talents he had given to Peter and knew how they could be used for his glory, even though Peter didn’t recognise them nor have the confidence to put them into practice.
It’s important, therefore, that we identify the unique gifts and talents that each of our young people have. Many of us will have heard of Howard Gardener’s Multiple Intelligence theory and will recognise that intelligence plays itself out in so many different ways; yet do we put the theory into practice? For example, who would we say was more intelligent: Albert Einstein or Wayne Rooney? Using Gardener’s theory, I would suggest that Rooney is just as intelligent as Einstein.
In the same way, that young person who is really annoying and won’t sit still while you’re talking to them, yet can run 100m quicker than you can run up the stairs, is just as intelligent as the young person who’s predicted straight A*’s in their exams. And yet, which young person is comparing themselves to the other one in a negative way? Do you encourage the straight A* young person to get into athletics, or encourage the sprinter to get stuck into revision, ‘because it will benefit you most in your future?’
God has placed unique gifts and talents into each of our young people for his glory and his fame. We need to stop reinforcing the culture around us which puts them in straitjackets, and instead help liberate them so that they can become the young people that they were created to become.
So that young person who is an awesome sprinter - can he be in charge of the mini-Olympics at your summer fair this year? That teenager who’s awesome at dance - could they direct a performance for your Christmas Carol Service this year? Could you encourage Graham, who’s good at writing, to write an article for your Church website?
As youth leaders, we can do our best to help stop young people from comparing themselves with others and confidently start to put into practice the gifts and talents that God has given us all. And maybe we can even start to do it ourselves.
Jonathan Buckley is Ecunite project manager at YMCA White Rose.
