Taboo!
15 minutes
This game is all about guessing the word but not saying the ‘taboo words’. If you don’t have the board game, print and cut out the list of taboo cards. Explain to the group that they must guess the word on top of the card but they can’t say any of the ‘taboo words’ listed below. You could split the group into two teams and have a race!
Say: That game was all about taboo words and there are some words and topics we just don’t talk about. Self-harm can be one of them but today we’re going to discuss it.
What is self-harm?
10 minutes
Ask young people to write an answer to the question ‘what is self-harm?’ on a post-it note. Gather the post-its and give them a quick read so you can gauge how much the group knows.
Say: The word ‘self-harm’ covers a few different areas. It can be physical, also known as ‘self-injury, which is to deliberately hurt yourself (hair pulling, cutting, burning). It can be behavioural, also known as ‘harming behaviours’, that have a long-term health effect such as binge drinking or risky sexual behaviour. It also includes emotionally harming ourselves, such as judging ourselves really harshly or constantly putting ourselves down to a point where it affects our day to day lives.
Myth or fact?
15 minutes
Split the group into teams, giving them the set of statements below. Ask the teams to make two piles; one of myths and one of facts, putting the statements in the correct pile. When they have finished, go through the statements and ask them to explain their answers. Afterwards, explain the correct answer. Use this as a time to openly discuss self-harm in a safe manner.
STATEMENT 1 - Only teenagers self-harm.
Myth: People of all ages can self-harm. It seems more common in teenagers as this is the age where people tend to begin self-harming and tell someone about it.
STATEMENT 2 - People self-harm because ‘it feels nice’.
Myth: Self-harm is anything but nice. Often, people do it as a release of emotional pain they feel inside. Many people feel a rush of adrenalin before they harm but then they feel the pain after that numbness has left.
STATEMENT 3 - You can get help if you self-harm .
Fact: Everyone can get help. There are loads of people who can support you, including family, friends and medical professionals. Self-harming is not an end point, but an opportunity to seek help and recover.
STATEMENT 4 - People self-harm just for attention.
Myth: It’s really damaging to call someone an attention-seeker. It’s belittling their problem and saying they don’t deserve help. We all need help and support at different times in our lives and sometimes this is a way of saying: “I need help”.
STATEMENT 5 - Self-harm is a suicide attempt .
Myth: For many, self-harm is a way of coping with life.
Say: There is so much information around self-harm and people have many assumptions about why a person is harming. We can use this information to help ourselves and others around this topic.
What to do?
5 minutes
Ask the group to turn to the person next to them and think about what they should do if they thought someone they knew was self-harming. Ask volunteers to share their thoughts.
Say: If you know someone is self-harming or has said to you that they are thinking of harming themselves, it’s really important that you tell a trusted adult. They can then go on to help that person, such as a teacher or youth worker. Ask the group to identify someone in their mind as a trusted adult they could go to.
God and self-harm
5 minutes
Say: When it comes to our relationship with God, nothing can stop God loving us - even self-harm. God’s word, his spirit and his son all reinforce the fact that God deeply loves us. Ask the group to shout out some experiences that they’ve had or that are in the Bible which explain just how loved they are.
Say: Sometimes people think that self-harm makes God angry when it doesn’t - if anything, it makes him sad to know that we’re struggling and we’re not sure how to cope in a healthy way. Go on to explain that God teaches us to love one another and support each other as the body of Christ. Part of our way of doing that is by supporting those who are struggling and assisting them to receive help. Let’s be an example to others of how to safely talk about self-harm and other tough topics and support each other through our struggles.
Reflection
5 minutes
Ask the group to stand in a circle and explain that people who self-harm are often deeply hurting on the inside, even if sometimes they appear OK. Give everyone a tea light and light the pillar candle in the centre of the circle.
Say: We all face challenges in our lives and whether we self-harm as a way to cope or do something else, we all need support. One way to do this is to pray for one another. Think of one person in your life who needs support. This could be someone in your school or at home. We’re going to go round and say a prayer - out loud or in your head - for that person. As you pray, light your tea light from the ‘God’ pillar candle and place it next to the pillar candle. After everyone has lit their candle say a final prayer for the group.
End the session by explaining that self-harm doesn’t need to be a taboo topic and identify who they can go to if they wish to talk about it further. Encourage the group to think about how they can support one another more as the body of Christ in this coming week.
