The world of the school leaver has never been more daunting – whichever route they choose to take. HTB’s director of Student Alpha Jamie Haith and Frontier Youth Trust’s Alastair Jones both offer five ways to support young people as they leave, either for university life, employment or – more pertinently right now – straight into unemployment.
The university challenge: thrive, survive or nose-dive?
How can youth pastors best prepare those who are leaving the youth group to go to university?’ I believe the answer lies in encouragement. For the soon-to-be-fresher to hear ‘You can do this!’ from their youth leader is worth its weight in gold and will ring in their ears for months and years to come. The university years are so short and precious, so crucial and foundational; our encouragement of our youth group members will make all the difference to whether they thrive, survive or nose-dive in their faith while they are away. So with that in mind, here are some encouragements to you, in your encouragement of others
1. Encourage them to be authentic
Perhaps the biggest question for freshers is whether they can keep their faith and yet still enjoy university life to the full. Thankfully the answer is a resounding ‘yes’. But make no mistake; it is a challenge, a challenge that will take confidence and a strong sense of identity.
‘Freshers’ are not called that for nothing. Thirty per cent of the UK student population is refreshed by the new intake each year. Eighty-seven per cent of freshers are moving away from home for the first time. So all of a sudden, there’s a lot of new people, in a new place, with a lot of new freedom.
Let’s be honest: we all feel lonely and insecure given different circumstances and new surroundings. None of us wants to feel like a billy no-mates. But the most important thing a fresher can do before and during the first few weeks of university is to take a good, hard look at themselves and ask: ‘Who am I?’
Encourage them to ‘be yourself’, keeping it real, not allowing others to put them in a box. Humans love to categorise others according to ridiculous labels: e.g. ‘Christian’ or ‘state school’ or ‘public school’ or ‘scientist’ or ‘northerner’ and then, once they’ve got you tidily categorised, they can then either accept or discard you. Your uni-starters need to know that they are heading off with a strong, confident understanding of who they are, of what makes them tick, of what the things are that really matter to them and so what’s up for grabs and what’s not. Now is the time to take a clear view on those things and you can really encourage them with that. For example: what is their attitude to drugs, especially alcohol? One estimate calculates that the alcohol spend of higher education students in the UK is in excess of £32 million… a week! There is undoubtedly huge peer pressure around alcohol especially among students. The time to make lifestyle decisions about such stuff is sooner rather than later.
Large numbers of young people fall away from their faith during their university year - far too many. For most it’s not a case of deciding against following God, but of simply drifting away from him through all manner of other factors. Confidence in one’s identity plays a huge role as the decider in what one will accept in terms of behaviour and morality.
2. Encourage them to make authentic friendships
My wife is my hero and role model especially in this whole area. It’s now over 15 years since she left uni and she is still in very close contact with a good number of the friends she made there. That’s because she was determined from the start. She set out to find her ‘urban family’ as she calls them; like-minded people who would support her and most likely be friends for the rest of her life. And these people were a mixture of Christian and not.
If faith is going to thrive, and one is going to grow as a person, true friendship and life-sharing has to be encouraged, but it doesn’t just happen. You have to go looking for it and when you find it, work hard to develop it. As our friendships are inextricably linked with our faith, I am always quick to encourage people to invest in friendships where there is honesty, care, challenge and forgiveness. Invest in friendships that make you a better person, or at least give you the desire to be!
The bottom line is whether a friendship is very easy and natural. Regardless of whether or not the friend in question would call themselves a Christian, it’s worth asking: ‘Does this friendship boost my energy or sap it, and can I be real about who I am?’.
One thing you can communicate right now is that there is an extraordinary opportunity standing before them in this new environment; this is a unique ‘blank canvas moment’ that could easily be squandered. How exciting that you get to pray with and for them that God would lead them into the right relationships from day one!
3. Encourage them to commit to an authentic community
The fresher you are sending off is unlikely to find a church just like your own home church in their new city. (which may be a blessing for them?!) Many students never settle into a church at university because they don’t find one just like the one at home.
Many freshers spend many Sundays looking for the perfect church (which they will never find) and this looking around can end up being quite discouraging. One thing you can do is help them with some research right now: most churches have a website, and together you’ll be able to get a good picture of what the church is like from that.
Sometimes, students just commit to a campus Christian group and not to church. While this can seem very attractive (i.e. worshipping God with loads of peers, where everything is tailor-made and familiar, and there’s not a grey hair in sight), it’s more healthy to also be committed to a great church where you worship alongside people of all ages.
Wherever the commitment energy goes, however, do encourage them to resist the temptation to spend all of their time in Christian meetings. Encourage them to engage with both church and the student Christian community at uni, but also try to not get caught in the Christian ghetto. If I am honest, my biggest regret of my time at university (and let’s just keep this between me and you, okay?) is that I did so much with both CU and church that I never really had the time for ‘normal’ friendships. Sure I had great exposure to solid teaching and great leadership opportunities but (and please take this the right way) you have the rest of your life for that. Uni is such a unique time to get out there and make some great friendships that will last a lifetime, with people who are Christian and with people who aren’t.
4. Encourage them to be authentic in evangelism
I’m a firm believer that, as the saying goes, ‘you grow as you go’. (If that idea was good enough for the disciples, it’s good enough for me!) One of the main things that will keep faith alive in the heart of the Christian fresher will be giving their faith away. It’s the most incredible kingdom principle: we were created to be channels of grace, not buckets for it; distributors not mere consumers.
We Christians tend to get put off evangelism because Christianity all too easily gets labelled as being a dogmatic, exclusive club that is only interested in perpetuating harsh rules and labelling people as ‘sinners’. But don’t let your soon to-be-freshers give in to this caricature. Encourage them to show people love, truth, and hope. In other words, show them Jesus.
Most students find that their friends respect their faith, even if they may not want to know about it for themselves just yet. Our job is simply to be bold and authentic, whilst maintaining a good sense of humour and self-deprecation.
Prepare them: they will doubtless be the only person on their corridor who is a Christian and while that may seem scary now, prepare them also to be amazed at what a witness they will be. Encourage them to never underestimate how just spending time with people will open hearts to hear about Jesus. Scratch the surface of the social whirl and you find lonely people with hurt and hopelessness. It’s God’s calling: get among them, live alongside them and love them. Be different and be available.
5. Encourage them, and don’t stop encouraging them!
I grew up in Brighton and then at 18 left for Exeter University, never to live in Brighton again. I will never forget the investment in me made by my youth group leaders, Steve and Jenny Langston, who believed in me, prayed for me, gave me cards and even dropped in to see me, and all of this long after I had left their youth group. There was nothing in it for them, and they certainly didn’t have to do it as part of their role as youth pastors. But their love and commitment and, you got it, encouragement now forms a key part of the foundation of my faith.
My prayer as I write this is that you would have the same heart as them: that you would delight in preparing your youth group for university, and that those who do go would go in the full knowledge of the fact that their Father loves them beyond all loving, and that their university years can be rich in the confidence that truth brings.
JAMIE HAITH is HTB’s director of Student Alpha. www.studentalpha.org
