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Prince Working just a stone’s throw from Buckingham Palace, Youthwork’s team of staunch royalists has been celebrating the birth of Will and Kate’s little firstborn, and our future King. Because, it’s all about hope for the future isn’t it? Hope personified in one tiny life. A life with the power to unite a kingdom, or indeed divide it. Hang on; we’ve been watching too much Game of Thrones, haven’t we?

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Shoes This month designer Lloyd has been infuriated by the poor build quality of his new shoes. The smart new pumps operated correctly for exactly one day before falling to pieces, which incidentally is how long most of Lloyd’s design interns seem to last.

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Alpha Papa Granted, he hadn’t actually seen it before this column went to press, but journalist Jamie is so confident that he’s going to love the new Alan Partridge movie, he’s committing to a five star review in advance. Bravo Two Zero! (Which actually improves with every read.)

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Bin removal Every Friday without fail, deputy editor Phoebe is awoken by a voice. It is not the voice of God, or even of a friendly flatmate. The voice says: ‘Keep well clear, vehicle reversing,’ so loudly that it could literally be inside her room. But it isn’t; this piece of information glamorously reveals that Phoebe’s window is located right above the bins.

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Upworthy The Internet is now chock-a-block with websites trying to hook you in with the promise of content-you’ll-love-so-much-you’ll-have-to-share-it. Upworthy slices through the cynicism, compassion fatigue and individualistic mind-sets of hard-bitten old grouches like editor Martin.