PROJECT : The Courageous Course
LOCATION: Liverpool
AIM: To help young people discover their potential
The project: The first time we met Mark (not his real name), it was apparent that he was the ‘alphamale’ in the room. We’d been tasked with delivering Courageous, Pure Creative Arts’ new mentoring course focusing on male identity, to a group of 13-14 year-olds at a local school, and arrived anticipating challenges. This group of guys often struggled to turn up for school. When they did, they struggled to behave appropriately, and when they misbehaved, they didn’t like acknowledging or accepting discipline. But even among this group, Mark was clearly the biggest, loudest and most influential. Within minutes, it was obvious the other seven lads were both wary of Mark’s wrath, and desiring of his approval. Sadly for them, Mark was much bigger on wrath than approval and tended to speak in sentences populated by four letter insults.
Fast forward ten weeks, and it’s a different Mark who receives his graduation certificate detailing what he’s brought to the course. My co-leader and I cite his leadership, and how he’s learning to use that to have a positive influence rather than putting others down. When Mark reads his certificate, he first noticed that it included the meaning of his name, which he had never seen before. He then read our comments, before looking at the certificate of the lad next to him. He’s most impressed with the fact that his words are different; this is no generic compliment - the words are specific to Mark, and that matters.
The words were always going to be personal. Courageous is all about journeying with each young man one-to-one, as well as in the group. Mark had ups and downs through the group sessions, contributing positively to some and being tough to manage in others, but the one-to-one sessions saw another side emerge. It turns out he isn’t as confident as he puts across. His home life’s difficult, he’s had few positive encounters with his dad, and when asked who he thinks would really have his back when things get tough, his first response is nobody.
We don’t stop there though. Mark was encouraged to think for a while, and eventually two names surfaced. We asked if we can add our name to each boy’s handbook, as during this course, we want to support in whatever ways we can. Mark agrees, and a list starts to form. Group sessions feature discussions, multimedia presentations and team activities, tackling topics such as male stereotypes, relating to authority, relating to women, overcoming obstacles and setting future goals.
Ultimately, the aim of the course is to introduce the father heart of God and positive models of manhood to a generation of boys who in most cases have never seen them. All around them, whether in their favourite films, music, video games or porn sites, they meet distorted and broken models of what a man should be.
Our aim with Courageous isn’t to attack or to demean the boy’s current identity, but to meet them in their situations and show them another way. After all, if it wasn’t for a God who met us in our need and called us out to something better, who of us would be any different?
The Courageous Course is available for licensing from Pure Creative Arts. For more information contact info@purecreativearts.co.uk or go to www.purecreativearts.co.uk
Five tips for mentoring struggling young males
1. Always see the good within each individual. Confirming that these boys have the potential to make good decisions needs to be a conscious and intentional act. Our response to bad behavior can significantly detract from our effectiveness in encouraging these boys to develop a positive view of themselves.
2. Walk alongside them. It is a privilege to be able to input in the lives of young people but gaining clarity about our roles in their lives is essential. We cannot force a young person to do anything, and any attempts to do this leads to either rebellion or passivity. By walking alongside young people, we are able to foster relationships of trust.
3. Help them to visualise a better future than they can imagine. Idealism meets realism when we are able to encourage young people to dream and expand the boundaries that they or society have created around their lives, and build achievable and practical first steps to attaining a bright future.
4. Become a champion. We all know how dynamic and inspiring it is to have someone in our corner, someone who believes in us and someone who is willing to cheer us on along the way. Let us pay it forward and become the champions for the next generation.
5. Be vulnerable. We can’t expect young people, especially boys, to be honest and open with us if we are not able to do the same. It is in our vulnerability that we are able to relay the best life lessons.
Dr Elikem Tamaklo, Pure Creative Arts
