For a free pdf download of this resource click here
PREPARATION
Think about room layout, refreshments and extra women joining the team for these sessions, who the girls will feel safe with and who model authentic godly womanhood. You will need: two large white t-shirts, gaffer or masking tape, real stones (or cutouts of stones, white labels or even cupcakes!) each with the phrase ‘You see me...’ on it. Download and print the ‘You See Me’ handout from the links section of the Premier Youthwork website and prepare some things to say about each member of the group for ‘We think you’re…’
GAFFER GIRLS
10 mins
On a plain white t-shirt invite the girls to write down as many names for females that they can think of. Avoid the temptation to censor what’s written. Then with gaffer tape, either individually or as a group, ask them to stick tape over the names they don’t agree with or like. Ask the girls how they think the negative labels affect their self-esteem (how they see themselves). Remind them that their intrinsic value doesn’t change as it’s God-given, but their self-esteem can increase as they learn to see themselves through God’s eyes.
COME AND FIND ME
20 mins
Show Meg Cannon’s talk from the Youth Work Summit 2014 (available on the links section of the Premier Youthwork website), then use some of these questions as discussion prompts:
• Do you recognise the experience of being a teenage girl that Meg presents?
• Is there anything you would like to add about how society defines young women?
• What sorts of expectations or pressures are placed on young women?
• What’s good about being female and what’s challenging?
• How would you compare the names for females with the names for males in our culture?
• What would you like to do about the way young women are defined?
• What would you like to be able to appreciate more about yourself?
WE THINK YOU’RE...
5 mins
Say: The last question was about appreciating yourself more, which means being thankful for who you are and what you have. God made you female and he’s glad about it! He wants you to enjoy it too. It’s not always easy being female - there are plenty of challenges that we face, which is why we’re running these sessions separately from the guys. We’d love you to relax, try new things and think about the things we ask you to look at or listen to. This is your time. We [the leaders] have written down something that we notice and appreciate about each one of you. You haven’t got to say anything, and you haven’t even got to believe us yet. But we’d love you to listen... (Each time you could use: ‘[Name] - we love you being here with us and we’ve noticed [XX]. It’s one of the things we appreciate about you.’)
KEY POINT
Self-esteem (how we feel about ourselves) starts with God-esteem (how God feels about us). Discovering that our female identity is a loving gift from God is essential to shaping healthy and godly self-image (how we live out our female identity). Equipping young women with ways to appreciate and accept themselves as females created in God’s likeness leads to the self-awareness and responsibility that enables them to grow well. We need to be careful that while we celebrate our unique identity as females, we don’t lump unhelpful ideas onto femininity that God never places on us. It’s vital that we model to young women the multiple ways that God uses us in his work and world.
FEARLESSLY FEMININE
10 mins
Read Genesis 2:18-25 and Galatians 3:28 as a group and then read out these statements, asking if they agree or disagree:
• Boys are powerful, girls are princesses.
• There are some things that women can’t do.
• We’re all the same in God’s eyes.
• Jesus was a man, so men are more significant to God.
• Girls are better than guys.
KEY POINT
God created us to need the love and support of others. Being happy in our skin as women doesn’t mean that it’s all about us. Being free to really be the women we are will encourage other girls and guys to be themselves too. God is not a bloke. He is both male and female, and together we express who God is more fully. Having good friendships with guys as well as girls is healthy and vital to help us know who God says we are. But intriguingly in the story of God creating Eve, Adam is asleep, so Eve has alone time with God before Adam wakes up! It’s when we seek God’s presence that we discover more about ourselves.
LISTEN UP LADS
5 mins
Ask them to come up with three statements that define how they choose to see themselves as young women. Tell them that the lads will read these next week, and they’ll get to read what the boys have written! Then write down three ‘why do guys...?’ questions you want to ask the boys, about how guys view girls. The questions will need to be answered between sessions one and two, so find some way of making that happen.
YOU SEE ME
5 mins
On another plain white t-shirt, invite the girls to write words and names they imagine God using for them. Use the ‘You see me’ handout from the links section of the Premier Youthwork website. Explain that following Jesus means allowing God to shape our identity. How he sees us is the foundation for how we see ourselves. Sometimes this may mean asking him to release us from lies and helping us to accept and appreciate ourselves. Hand round the stones, cupcakes or labels with ‘you see me...’ on, and read Revelation 2:17. It’s a confusing passage, but one widely held idea is that Jesus is using the picture of the 12 stones a high priest wore on his breastplate as he went into the temple to carry God’s people into God’s presence, to tell his followers that they can come directly into God’s presence. As the girls look at their stone, cupcake or label invite them to sit quietly and say to themselves (or out loud if they are able), ‘I’m in your presence God, and you see me as… Help me every day to see myself a bit more as you see me,’ adding in something for themselves in the blank.
