So often the spotlight is given to stories of success. Stories of youth groups growing from eight to 80 in three weeks using nothing but a table tennis ball, a church hall and a copy of Mission Praise. Stories that are great but can also leave some of us out in the cold. Because, sometimes, there’s a flip side: we all know that youth ministry can be the most amazing vocation in the world, but it can be tough, it can go wrong, and it can be a real struggle. And yet there’s as much truth and as many lessons in these stories as in the success stories, so we want to open it up and learn from some of them. Welcome to Real Life. This month: Nick Francis.

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For just over six years I was youth minister for a multi-denominational church. This was my first full-time post as a fresh faced CYMgraduate, and I went in optimistic, enthusiastic, and with a healthy dose of nerves.

Six years later I left as a broken, run-down, tired youth worker, having been made redundant from my post. 

For the first few years my job seemed to be going well. Young people, parents and the church all seemed happy. There was the odd blip now and again but I was largely left  to my own devices and could quite happily  get on with what I wanted to. 

Roughly four years into  the  job my  minister left. After a heart attack and  a sabbatical he could clearly see that  the church was  not the right place for  him any more, and so he moved on. The  church remained in interregnum for  over  two  years meaning I  was  left  without  any significant leadership support. Instead  I was  meeting with  elders who rapidly  wanted to change models of leadership so  that youth  and  children’s work  went  in  a  practical, not spiritual,  direction,  something more akin to child-minding.   

It was at this point that cracks in  relationships between myself and  the  eldership began to show. This was  furthered by what became a very obvious  difference in vision for youth work.  The  elders’  was for numbers on Sundays  and bums on seats, mine was for increased  schools work, small groups and weekday- based work. (That’s not to say I don’t  see  church services as important, but as part of  a bigger picture for youth ministry.) It was  obvious that our visions were not aligned.  We also went through some significant  changes in our Sunday service structures  and styles. These were changes which  I  supported and encouraged, but was not  aware of the impact they were to have. We  moved from three services  a week  (family,  traditional and  informal) to one. This  meant that we lost a lot of our informal,  ‘youth-friendly’ opportunities, and our  times of worship became  more focused on  the older generations. ‘New’ worship was  either not seen as accessible or was given  too low a priority. Feedback given by young  people was not acted upon.  

Throughout this time  there were  significant personality clashes  between  myself and elders, and  due to the lack  of minister  there were  no support  processes or resolutions. For myself,  and the other staff,  it quickly became  a  them  and  us  situation. It’s amazing how  the loss of a minister can throw a church  into chaos so quickly. 

Things continued in this way for a year  or so, until one September it was announced  that my position was no longer financially  viable and I was being made redundant. I  had three months redundancy notice to  serve and finished working on Christmas  Eve – the end of a painful process. I’m now  a youth worker for an Anglican church. I  have been here just over a year and God has  been very good. So what have I learned? 

Check job descriptions

This is something that became a constant  source of problems. There was a clear  difference between what people thought the  youth work was before I started, and what  it actually was. When you apply for a job,  or start one, do some digging and be sure to  clarify any inconsistencies early on. 

Be managed

Churches don’t always manage people  well. We know that. When I started my  job I thought it was fantastic that no one  interfered in my day-to-day work. I had full  authority, no real checks or balances, and a  very informal annual appraisal. Eventually  this came to bite me. I now work in a church  where I have weekly management meetings  with my vicar, weekly leadership meetings,  an appraisal system, and far more oversight  of budgets.  

Align visions

The youth ministry should not stand alone. It  should ref lect and help to develop the wider  church’s  vision. If your vision and the vision  of the church are not aligned, do what you can  to make them so. This doesn’t mean ditching  all your values but may mean compromise.  It’s better to have difficult conversations now,  and make sure everyone is singing from the  same hymn sheet, than build up frustrations  and harbour resentment.

Leave well

Even if things do go catastrophically wrong,  as tempting as it might be, don’t burn the  church on your way out. It’s not always easy  to see but God is still working in that place.  Also, if you seek future employment they  will ask for references and how you leave  will be ref lected in those references. Anger  will be expected, but leave with dignity and  grace.  How you leave will also affect the  young people. Do you want them to become  bitter and angry towards the church, or do  you want them to grow in their faith? Don’t  undo all the hard work you have done by  throwing your toys out of the pram.    

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