Youth work jokes
This selection should keep you busy for a while ...
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How many youth workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb and one to hold the ping-pong table they’re standing on.
Three: one to change the bulb and two to keep watch for wandering property team members.
They don’t change light bulbs; they empower young people to change light bulbs.
Trick question! None: as per the risk assessment, the faulty light bulb should be reported to the church office.
Two: one to change the lightbulb and one to moan at the PCC over the lack of lightbulb funds.
Two: one to change the lightbulb and one to tell the young people not to have sex.
One: however there aren’t any lightbulbs left because they were all used in trying to make the biggest tower out of ordinary household objects.
Five: two to start a Friday night discipleship group, one to start a sport’s ministry team, one to meet with young people one-to-one and one to do some schools’ work. With all that in place they can empower a young person to do it for them.
None: they are never there long enough to need to change one.
‘Knock, knock’ ‘Who’s there?’ ‘A youth worker…’ *Slams door*
‘Knock, knock’ ‘Who’s there?’ ‘A young person…’ ‘A young person who?’ ‘A young person who has a completed consent form in order to attend.’ ‘Come in!’
Why did the youth worker cross the road?
To get to the coffee shop.
To avoid the church caretaker who dealt with the aftermath of last weekend’s food fight.
To buy shaving foam, jelly babies and youth Bibles.
BECAUSE IT’S WHAT RELEVANT YOUTH WORKERS DO, THAT’S WHY! WHY DOESN’T THE CHURCH UNDERSTAND ME? WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO GET QUESTIONED?
‘Waiter, waiter, there’s a youth worker in my soup.’ ‘Don’t worry, according to statistics - they are most likely an urban myth - and will be gone in 18 months.