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Broken Relationships

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Sheldon Thomas, a former gang member and founder of Gangsline highlights the impact damaged family life has on young gang members saying, ‘The truth of the matter is, if you have families broken, you will have a broken society’.

Government figures suggest that in white working class families, 22 per cent of families have no father figure but in black communities this figure is at 61 per cent. Thomas points out that most gang members come from single parent backgrounds, emphasising the significance of 80 per cent of London gang members being black (in Liverpool, 80 per cent of gang members are white but Thomas admits that we don’t want to own either figure for fear of appearing racist).

Broken relationships result in many young people joining gangs. Feeling neglected by their own families, they look for answers in the wrong places and the street becomes their family. Thomas said: ‘I walked around hiding who I really was with a gun at my side because it was the gun that I wanted people to know about rather than knowing about the pain that I was suffering, most gang members are suffering.’ He also firmly believes, ‘No gang member in this country actually wants to be a gang member.’

When a young person was asked by XLP what made him leave his gang and life of crime, his answer was that he had found someone who believed in him. Patrick Regan, founder and CEO of XLP believes relationships are paramount, ‘People will change people.’

John Sutherland a chief superintendent of the Metropolitan police, acknowledges the importance of police, ‘trying to seek justice on behalf of those who aren’t able to seek it themselves’ but he has acknowledged the importance of nurturing relationships: ‘It’s about going to where the people are, going to where the need is and then keeping going… and investing in those relationships and seeing the change.’ As a father himself, Sutherland stresses the importance of supporting men in these roles: ‘Being a dad is not for the faint hearted. Some of it is about having the courage, having the stickability. The world needs dads and dads sometimes need help, but we’re important.’

Normalisation of violence

Numerous experts agree we’re living in a society where in deprived communities, violence is normal and young people are therefore desensitised to it. Numerous video games involve an immediate second life after being killed, causing young people to genuinely not understand what dying is. Duncan Bew, consultant surgeon and clinical lead for trauma and emergency surgery at King’s College Hospital sees countless stab wounds and says, ‘Young people feel like they’re immortal.’ Alongside his medical work, he delivers preventative education lessons in schools, helping young people understand the consequences of their actions.

Loving relationships and understanding consequences are a start, but the normalisation of violence has led to more violence, more young people carrying weapons and a greater fear of being attacked. In order to reverse the normalisation of violence, we also need to fight harder to get weapons off the street. A 17-year-old who miraculously survived being stabbed in the head (in front of his younger brother) recently told ITV’s Nina Hossain that the solution to knife crime is to make kids feel like the streets are a safe place. The Catford teenager also believed parents should ensure their children aren’t carrying weapons.

Believe in better

Hannah Bourazza, an XLP employee, whose son Nathaniel was fatally stabbed by a teenager three years ago bravely champions young people. Not long after her son’s tragic murder, Bourazza found one of her XLP t-shirts bearing the words, ‘I refuse to believe this is a lost generation.’ She put it on as a defiance, as if to say, ‘Young people, we need you to be better than this’.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu visited one of the XLP bus projects a few years ago and spent an hour listening to the young people. His departing words to them echo Hannah Bourazza’s cry to believe in better, ‘Your past doesn’t have to define your future.’

If we want to see change among young people, we have to believe in them and invest time and energy into them. We also have to put prejudices aside and work closely with other projects, organisations and local churches. Patrick Regan emphasises the importance of building relationships, not just with gangs but with other young people that we come into contact with: ‘There’s reasons why kids struggle and it often leads to them being withdrawn and starting to make negative choices. We’ve got to build those relationships. For me, church isn’t a place to attend, it’s a community to be part of but it’s a community that gathers around a cause of wanting to see people’s lives changed.’

Pray

One of the best things we can do for our young gang members is pray for them. Andrez Harriot, founder of The Liminality Group (and former member of 90s boy band Damage) told Premier Youthwork, ‘There are sometimes forces behind what’s going on that only prayer can break.’